Hey folks!
If you've been trying to see my website on Google Chrome lately, chances are that you've encountered a page that is warning you against malware on the site. I've deleted the "contaminated" post (a really stupid rant about Cast Away that I did, which had a picture of Tom Hanks that was apparently from a sketchy site causing the issue) and the site should be safe now. I'll be more careful about where I get pictures from in the future, and also more careful about the quality of content on the site. (Because, you know, ranting about Cast Away is probably not something you want to hear about.)
Cheers!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Return of Things that Helped Me Survive High School
This has been a majestic couple of hours. Already basking in the afterglow of an impending Nostalgia Critic return, I watched Beyonce not only KILL IT at the SuperBowl, but reunite with her main girls from Destiny's Child, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams (all of whom looked fucking fabulous). They also have released a new single, Nuclear, which you need to check out if you want to live forever. I awoke this morning in my already ethereal state to find out that Fall Out Boy will not only reunite and start touring again, but that they have released a new single. Needless to say, my 14-year-old self has resurrected from the ashes of her insecurity and broken retainers.
Why do I give so many fucks, you may ask? I respond with a hearty "How would I even get through middle and high school without all these fabulous things?"
Nostalgia Critic (along with MST3K) is one of the reasons I become interested in reviewing movies and TV in the first place. Doug Walker (the hilarious movie lover who plays the Critic) announced a few months ago that he would be calling it quits with Nostalgia Critic episodes. It surprised me just how upset I was about this. I thought I was too old to be watching NC and resigned myself to knowing that it would end (since I was SO COOL and no longer cared). It wasn't until (while combing through my old tumblr tags) I saw Doug's announcement that he was retiring the Critic that I realized how much I loved that show. I started obsessively watching old episodes over and over again, trying to tell myself that it's okay that it's over. "MST3K is over and you can survive this too," I would say. But no. My 14-year-old movie-loving self just wasn't satisfied and wanted more of this wonderful, crazy, movie-oriented cybershow fiesta. I recently went back on the That Guy With the Glasses website to see that HALLELUJAH, THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC HAS RETURNED. If you're interested in watching his return review of The Odd Life of Timothy Green, he'll be uploading it on February 5th. Here is a link for you to obsessively click in the next 24 hours: That Guy With the Glasses. Welcome back, Critic.
Destiny's Child, where would I be today without your sweet hymns of fabulous independent ladies who take charge and have fun while doing it? How would I be able to survive intolerable pep rallies and spirit days in high school without Survivor blasting over the stereo system? While Beyonce's solo career is absolutely incredible (Bless you, sweet angel), I am extremely excited for the reunion of these badass ladies. Hopefully they'll be able to teach a whole new generation of kids to hold their heads high and kick ass despite the haters. (And yes, whenever I need to strut with unquestioned confidence, I listen to "Independent Women." And yes, "Jumpin Jumpin" is probably the only song I'll ever be able to dance to without looking like a total buffoon.) As you can see, I take Destiny's Child seriously. Welcome back, ladies.
And finally, one of my many secret shames as far as my musical tastes go: Fall Out Boy. Yes, I could say I liked them ironically in my high school years, but that's the chicken's way out. Truth is, I really enjoyed their music in middle and high school. I was obsessed. I was intolerable to be around. I would work their lyrics into everyday conversation to see if people would get it. I changed the wallpaper on the family PC to Infinity on High album art every day until my mom protected it with a password that I could never know. I listened to at least one of their albums every day for 5 years. FIVE YEARS OF PETE WENTZ LYRICS. It's a wonder I'm not illiterate. Questionable quality aside, Fall Out Boy was always enjoyable for me, so when they took an indefinite hiatus, my little tween heart was torn into a bajillion pieces. I thought Patrick Stump getting arrested for having the wrong driver's licence was the worst thing that could happen to this band, but no. No it wasn't. Lucky for me and my sanity, I was able to take a break for a couple years to listen to different music and learn how to act like a (semi-)decent member of society. I don't imagine I will fall back into old habits*, but I'm nonetheless happy to see them back together with a catchy new song. Welcome back, boys.
Well, I hope I've thoroughly embarrassed myself by divulging my middle/high school life and excitement about the best parts of it coming back to me. Until next time, HellOnHoverskates is gonna be partyin' it up.
*Okay, I might be celebrating Heavy Irish Pepper Day with a red/green shirt and From Under the Cork Tree right now, but it's just one day of the year. There's 364 more I have left to make up for it.
Why do I give so many fucks, you may ask? I respond with a hearty "How would I even get through middle and high school without all these fabulous things?"
Nostalgia Critic (along with MST3K) is one of the reasons I become interested in reviewing movies and TV in the first place. Doug Walker (the hilarious movie lover who plays the Critic) announced a few months ago that he would be calling it quits with Nostalgia Critic episodes. It surprised me just how upset I was about this. I thought I was too old to be watching NC and resigned myself to knowing that it would end (since I was SO COOL and no longer cared). It wasn't until (while combing through my old tumblr tags) I saw Doug's announcement that he was retiring the Critic that I realized how much I loved that show. I started obsessively watching old episodes over and over again, trying to tell myself that it's okay that it's over. "MST3K is over and you can survive this too," I would say. But no. My 14-year-old movie-loving self just wasn't satisfied and wanted more of this wonderful, crazy, movie-oriented cybershow fiesta. I recently went back on the That Guy With the Glasses website to see that HALLELUJAH, THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC HAS RETURNED. If you're interested in watching his return review of The Odd Life of Timothy Green, he'll be uploading it on February 5th. Here is a link for you to obsessively click in the next 24 hours: That Guy With the Glasses. Welcome back, Critic.
Destiny's Child, where would I be today without your sweet hymns of fabulous independent ladies who take charge and have fun while doing it? How would I be able to survive intolerable pep rallies and spirit days in high school without Survivor blasting over the stereo system? While Beyonce's solo career is absolutely incredible (Bless you, sweet angel), I am extremely excited for the reunion of these badass ladies. Hopefully they'll be able to teach a whole new generation of kids to hold their heads high and kick ass despite the haters. (And yes, whenever I need to strut with unquestioned confidence, I listen to "Independent Women." And yes, "Jumpin Jumpin" is probably the only song I'll ever be able to dance to without looking like a total buffoon.) As you can see, I take Destiny's Child seriously. Welcome back, ladies.
And finally, one of my many secret shames as far as my musical tastes go: Fall Out Boy. Yes, I could say I liked them ironically in my high school years, but that's the chicken's way out. Truth is, I really enjoyed their music in middle and high school. I was obsessed. I was intolerable to be around. I would work their lyrics into everyday conversation to see if people would get it. I changed the wallpaper on the family PC to Infinity on High album art every day until my mom protected it with a password that I could never know. I listened to at least one of their albums every day for 5 years. FIVE YEARS OF PETE WENTZ LYRICS. It's a wonder I'm not illiterate. Questionable quality aside, Fall Out Boy was always enjoyable for me, so when they took an indefinite hiatus, my little tween heart was torn into a bajillion pieces. I thought Patrick Stump getting arrested for having the wrong driver's licence was the worst thing that could happen to this band, but no. No it wasn't. Lucky for me and my sanity, I was able to take a break for a couple years to listen to different music and learn how to act like a (semi-)decent member of society. I don't imagine I will fall back into old habits*, but I'm nonetheless happy to see them back together with a catchy new song. Welcome back, boys.
Well, I hope I've thoroughly embarrassed myself by divulging my middle/high school life and excitement about the best parts of it coming back to me. Until next time, HellOnHoverskates is gonna be partyin' it up.
*Okay, I might be celebrating Heavy Irish Pepper Day with a red/green shirt and From Under the Cork Tree right now, but it's just one day of the year. There's 364 more I have left to make up for it.
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